I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
