So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
