Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
if only i could text you this smell
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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