A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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