Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
