Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
