Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
