what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
