90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
