Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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