Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
