I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
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Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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