Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize