I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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