I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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