AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
