Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

Fav 3 1638 839
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(516): View more from New York

Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

Fav 7 787 2492
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

Fav 14 5690 825
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(701): View more from North Dakota

She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

Fav 63 22477 1748
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(850): View more from Florida

Are you still giving blowjobs?

(1-850): View more from Florida

Who is this?

Fav 30 10277 2649
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

Fav 65 3793 6977
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(314): View more from Missouri

don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.

Fav 19 1188 4715
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(561): View more from Florida

Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.

Fav 9 793 1684
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(937): View more from Ohio

Just make sure you put pants on

(1-937): View more from Ohio

....then im not going

Fav 0 66 3
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