Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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