He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
