i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
are you so shy because you have an std?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
