So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
