white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
