Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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