I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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