im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
