It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
