I cockslap morals
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize