so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
