Your face is a jimmy john
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize