Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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