dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
