We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
