that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
