I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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