what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Say something about gay babies.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
