Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
