No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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