These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
