We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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