Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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