okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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