Quick, to the slutcave!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
