How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
