Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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