I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Are we still banned from the library?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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