Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
