Define "chronic" masturbator.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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