Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
