New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
