i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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