Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
