well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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