Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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