ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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