ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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