so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
