found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize