he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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