so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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